They say, I live in a cocoon that I have created for myself. They say, I live in my ‘own world of fantasy’. They are right, yes they are!! I do live in my cozy bubble, where the world seems much more beautiful, much more bright, scenic, dreamy and enchanting unlike the world outside.
Walk into my blob of wonder and you will see that in my world, I am still the beautiful wife of my darling husband who still cares for me, loves me unconditionally, and makes me feel on top of the world with his little gestures.
In my world, we two walk long paths together holding hands, and nobody stares, my world is unaffected by those who are envious, bitter, skeptical of my every move and those begrudge-rs who would love to make my life seem like hell.
Here I have a plot of land where I nurse the four-legged ones, here I still have my tiny house, beside a little pond, where the ceiling is transparent. Yes, walk in here, lay down on that bed and you will be able to sky gaze. Here I feel safe, secured, happy and beautiful. Here, I can walk the streets alone, I can be myself, I can laugh when sad and cry with joy.
It is not like the world you want me to embrace. It is not crude, filled with dirt (now with dirt I am not referring to the dirt on the streets, I am referring to the dirt filled in people’s mind). My world is not like the one you call real, where rules and promises are not different from one another, where both are meant to be broken. Where people take pleasure in breaking stuff, in ruining the beauty, in making boundaries.
Where people don’t believe in second chances, where people stereotype others on the basis of race, caste, creed and color. Where I fear walking the streets, where I feel like a prey, surrounded by predators of all kinds, awaiting their chances to pounce upon me. Where I am divorced, yes they say I am a divorcee, may be I am. May be, I did murder the sweet relationship I had with my husband with my own bare hands, but then as I said, the world you talk about does not believe in second chances, it only believes in receiving it. Your world of truth, is where I wonder, if I am living or simply breathing, where my job seems to be a chore I can’t run away from. Where I see dogs and cats wounded on the streets, where I see children naked begging for some meat.
They think, I don’t know the reality, I don’t understand what it is to live in the real world. What if I say, I choose to live in the bubble I created, what if I choose to ignore? I did try hard to live in reality, but then; it made living impossible; all those tears and wounds on the streets and all those fears made me the person I am, it made me build the walls around me and so here I am living happily with my long gone husband and all my four-legged friends.
And so, dare not pop this bubble!!